Jeremiah 18:1-6 https://bible.oremus.org/?ql=529312820
“‘Whoever comes to me and does not hate fathers and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.”
Wow. That’s a lot to unpack. Jesus tells us that in order to be his disciple, we must hate our mother and father, sisters and brothers, spouses and children… even our own lives; and to give away all our possession? How can we be given a command that goes against the fourth commandment to honor mother and father? How can Jesus ask us to love even our enemies and yet tell us to hate our own families?
Let’s consider what Christ means when saying, “be my disciple.” Being Jesus’ disciple means to accept his teaching, to show love and compassion, to humble yourself, even as he humbled himself on the cross. To recognize God’s presence with you from the highest heights to the lowest lows. To open yourself to God’s shaping your soul and your way of life. Scripture gives us some examples: “for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a immigrant and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.”
When we recognize the image of God in all others, when we see that even the least of these are fearfully and wonderful made, and we begin to open ourselves to true discipleship.
So, in order to do that, why do we need to hate Mom and Dad? What could that possibly mean? Some have said that this command is Christ telling us that if our families are actively against us being a disciple of Christ, we must reject them.
But lets look into the context. Jesus is on his way to Jerusalem where he will literally have to carry his own cross. He has just healed a man on the Sabbath, a healing I would add, that required him to turn from traditional rules and religious cultural norms. He chose to act even though in following the way of compassion, he also gave his detractors evidence that could be used against him in his trial before the High Priest. He prioritized doing good over avoiding accusation. Is this what he meant by hating one’s own life?
Well, word is spreading like wildfire about this teacher, this healer. He sees the numbers growing, many just there to see what the big deal is, others following because they see no harm in joining the crowd… they do not yet know what is the cost of discipleship.
Jesus then tells the story of the man who invited his closest friends and family to a wedding feast but each of the invited replied with an excuse. “I have this going on.” “I just bought land.” “I got a new ox.” “I just got married.” No one shows up. So angered was he that he commands that his servants fill the hall with the poor, the lame, the wretched refuse of the teeming shores. He has his servants compel people to come in and eat. Main point, he doesn’t want anyone who was initially invited, those closest to him, to taste the feast. Is this what he meant by hating family? That’s possible.
Let’s look at the text. The word that is translated as “hate” here is a Greek phrase that comes from a Semitic expression meaning, “to love less, to turn away from or detach oneself from.” The thing that Jesus is trying to convey is that to be his disciple, for us to be following in His path, we must subordinate all other priorities in our life. Consider what is most important in your life. I recently saw a bumper sticker that said “Guns, God, and Country”. Mom and Dad didn’t even make the top three for that person and I found it interesting where God came in the list.
Other than following Christ, what do we have on our list of priorities? Is it a sports team (I'm partial to FC Cincinnati), devotion to a particular university basketball or football program? I know many here are avid UK fans. Is it a political party or candidate? Is it our nation? These are all priorities that people have. Sometimes we let them get in the way of loving our neighbors, loving our enemies, following the greatest commandments. Now, I would guess that most people would put family, financial security, and career as a few of their top priorities. But these are the very things Jesus told us that we would need to be ready to detach from if it was required to follow him.
I don’t think he was commanding us to turn away from our families or sell everything we own; rather I think he was using it as an example of what people would consider most important. Think back on what the wedding guests used as excuses. “I’ve just gotten married.” “I just bought some real estate.” “I’ve purchased a means of production.” When it comes down to it, are we willing to risk financial security to help the poor?
I recently heard a nursing student say, “The crazy thing is that $5,000 would completely turn my life around. But for someone else, it’s just a new purse.” We are blessed with possessions but could it be that Christ is telling us that those possessions should never get in the way of discipleship, should never inhibit us from joining in the wedding feast that welcomes the stranger and feeds the poorest of all. Is that what he meant by “give up all your possessions”?
Are we willing to risk the ire of our family to follow Christ? To do what is right, to speak out for the marginalized, to stand up for the oppressed, to seek justice, love kindness , and walk humbly?
It seems strange that doing what’s right could cause division. But sometimes it does. More often it seems in these days of extreme polarization. Year after year, we spend millions of dollars trying to make one point or another, worshiping at the political throne of one idol or another. All the while, ignoring the call to justice, kindness, and humility. We are called to love. We are called to be changed. May we all be open to the potters hands as God seeks to mold us into the likeness of Christ. And let it be so.
